OK, fine, I admit it -- I secretly envy hip hop's most ostentatious bling nuggets (T-Pain's new joint makes me particularly weak-kneed), but let's face it, none of that stuff has any place adorning a guy like me, even if the recession means I now might actually be able to afford a giant dangling TIE fighter or Flava Flav bust or life-size platinum replica of issue #57. Luckily, I can damn well lay claim to something as understated and professionally appropriate as audio waveform jewelry. Particularly noteworthy, I think, are the wedding bands carved up with the waveform for "I do" -- any significant other who can stomach that one without bursting out laughing or forever storming out of your life is probably a keeper. (Even if they don't, you know, actually say "I do" afterward. Don't worry, you'll probably get another chance, though you might have to re-pop the question in Venice to make up for the first attempt.) The more-adventurous and less-betrothed among us can instead proclaim our love for the sonic arts with synthesizer tattoos. The best of this bunch would ordinarily be the Reaktor logo, but based on my intrepid anatomical sleuthing, the body marked with the enormous Monome appears to be female. She, too, is probably a keeper.
by Larry Crane
Our pal Howard Bilerman will be interviewing legendary producer Bob Johnston in Montreal coming up. Should be a real hoot!