WHY I HATE(D)...

I recently have been digging through the

Tape Op

archives looking for writing, reviews and stuff we can post online. And I just found this snippet of hilariousness from Issue #7 in the Fall of 1997. Oh man, maybe I shouldn't post this... all apologies to everyone at

Recording Mag

and the now defunct

. Apparently I hadn't noticed that

Electronic Musician

had a higher circulation than either of thee mags. So now there's a computer in my studio, some (non vintage) Neumann mics in my locker, I've spent over a day mixing a song and

Tape Op's

circulation has surpassed ALL the mags mentioned. Things change.

Remember - this was 14 years ago!!!! I don't really feel like this now but I guess it was good fodder for me back then...

WHY I HATE

RECORDING

So, there's only really a handful of publications that deal with the wild world of putting music to tape. You all know them I'm sure. For now, I'll leave the big one (

Mix

) out of this discussion because I think they fill a need for those "huge" studios to justify themselves. Here's my beef with those other two:

1. They assume that everyone has a "project studio" where they create some sort of horrible jazz fusion music or something with drum machines.

2. All their readers have gone digital, right? (Not!)

3. The product reviews never seem to be of anything that I'd ever buy, as a home recordist or a studio owner.

4. Computers. 'Nuff said.

5. You can't tell the articles from the ads, especially in

Recording

6. You can, maybe, find one cool idea or trick you can use from each $3.50 issue.

7. "Reader's Tapes"... 'Nuff Said.

8. Do you seriously think the editor of either publication has ever produced a record you'd like to hear?

9. Have any of the people they write about produced any records you'd wanna hear?

10. They can't seem to remember that any older gear was ever built except for vintage Neumann mics.

11. They're never gonna acknowledge

Tape Op

in a million years, since they won't even acknowledge each other.

I also must admit that I frequently pick up copies of each. Yeah, I tell myself I'm checking out the competition, but

since there's no way in hell I'll ever get a circulation like them

that seems kinda loco. No, I think it's sorta fascinating, like the way I buy every new Kate Bush CD and wince at the painful production that she foists on her otherwise great songs. I just love to dig into each new issue and laugh at the stupid people they cover talk about spending a day mixing one song or how they need 6 amps per guitar per track of overdub. Hey, so that's why those records suck! 'Nuff said. I feel like I'm shooting sleeping ducks.

(Larry Crane, Tape Op, 1997)