If, by chance, you have not fallen off the face of the earth in the past couple of months, you've probably become familiar with journal of Mixerman, an anonymous diarist on www.prosoundweb.com who has made the band Bitch Slap the most famous characters of rock legend since Spinal Tap. Both bands have managed to catch the consciousness of the people who really know music from the inside out. But here, the similarity ends. Where Spinal Tap were loveable fops, Bitch Slap usually are unlovable lunks. Where Spinal Tap fell into success in spite of all natural adversities, Bitch Slap seems destined to never even finish a record. Where Spinal Tap were characters of fiction, Bitch Slap are real.
Or are they? No one knows for sure, as their biographer/ recordist Mixerman is a character of audio Noir — neither hero nor villain, documenting and assailing the process of modern record- making like Martin Luther nailing his document to the door of the Castle church.
The diary is merciless, absurd, and impossible to ignore, attacking everybody on the food chain. It's also damn funny, not merely for its narrative style but because it's a cautionary tale resonating with people on all levels of the business. Like the best documentaries, you don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Tape Op writers and friends were asked to pose questions to Mixerman after which they were electronically bundled and mailed to him in his secret lair. From different mouths, the interview style may seem a little erratic, but the sentiments had a lot in common: "How could this happen?" "Where have we gone wrong?" All good questions. Here to take on all comers, we have both the mixer and the man.
What I think is interesting about your saga is that it doesn't embrace the usual pecking order of spurious conduct. Sure, the A&R person is a moron, but to different extents so are people in the band — at the studio, and in the control room. Everyone has their own foibles.
Well, being the narrator of this epic session, I'm usually all too happy to display everyone's foibles, supposedly even my own. After all, it's these shortcomings that greatly affect and hinder our progress. In all honesty, as much as I make the band out to be a grotesque bunch of egotistical losers, they are victims of the system. Being required to write hundreds of songs over the course of two years after being bid on like they were the next Beatles? That's just cruel and unusual punishment, no matter how deserved.
You have gone to great pains with Bitch Slap to create a working environment physically as well as in other ways. How can you get a band feeling relaxed in what is often a sterile environment?
Keeping a band happy and relaxed is, without a doubt, the most crucial part of the recording process. As much as I bitch about these guys, I do keep them happy and relaxed. Well, maybe not Eyore, the guy's usually three sheets to the wind, so he's basically a lost cause as far as getting decent readings from the Happyometer. I get along fine with each of them on a personal level. It's how they interact with each other that is problematic. Every crowd has a personality. If you go to a play, a movie, or comedy club, you might notice that the crowd has a definite quality to it. Whether that be subdued, lively, giddy, angry, whatever. That's because each person brings a certain energy to the room. Those individual energies are trapped in the room, and start to react and interact, manifesting into one greater energy. This energy starts to affect us as individuals, and we begin to react within the parameters of the greater energy. The same holds true for small groups, even for couples. Our energies interact, and certain aspects of our personalities are brought out. Ever have one particular friend that brings out the devilish side of you? It's no secret that this band's energies don't react well. That's why on one of the segments, I asked, "Is it me?" In other words, is my energy the one that's fucking the whole thing up? Sadly, in my true evaluation of this, and regardless of some of my open ponderings in the Diary, my presence tends to improve the band's relationship. If my presence didn't improve the energy, I'd be out of there in a flash. What I do to try and improve the energy, is bring comic relief. I try to be as up, and as fun as possible, without losing focus on the task at hand. Yes, I often times hang up tapestries, put up lava lamps, candles, special lights, much like many other engineers in L.A. And that improves the physical sterility of a room. But those tools are no replacement for a lacking in positive human vibe. It's important to try to maintain a positive vibe in a session. I have to admit, I'm not always successful, but that's what I strive for.
Orson Welles already had a promising career before the War of the Worlds broadcast catapulted him to fame. How do you feel about the Mixerman identify competing with its alter ego? I mean, there are even T-shirts.
Here's the crux of the matter. Mixerman is an entertainer that knows something about engineering. My alter-ego is an engineer that knows something about entertaining.
And of course War of the Worlds was fake. That's what's so funny about this, it's all too absurd to be fake.
Indeed!
A lot of time was spent on getting drum sounds. Both you and the producer thought that you captured really good drum sounds. Please disclose your drum mics and mic'ing technique that you used on the Bitch Slap sessions.
I can't quite understand how my mic selections could mean anything when the product isn't available to listen to. And even if it were, one of the most important points of the Diary thus-far is that once the song is painstakingly recorded, the system is set-up to stomp the life out of the recording. Today, Mastering Engineers default automatically to "loud." Labels want the records to have absolutely no dynamics, and want the records to average digital overs. I got one Mastering job back last year that clipped every time there was a kick drum. Let's think about that for a moment. The kick is clipping on what is meant to be a sensitive song and your readers would like to know what I used to get that sound? Go talk to the putz that doesn't have enough musicality to whistle "Yankee Doodle" and is now a Mastering Engineer. He's the one that knows how to get that sound, not me (although, I have my suspicions). Then let's consider how many of your readers don't have access to the mics that I have access to. What are they to do? Are they SOL? Certainly not! These days a home studio with modest gear can actually compete sonically with the over-quantized, excessively tuned, over- compressed, hyper-limited, 2-dimensional, uninspiring load of crap that the major labels are spending $500,000 to make. The major labels have unwittingly leveled the playing field so that a record that has a 4 figure budget can compete sonically with a 6 figure budget. So, forget about the mics I use, use the mics YOU use, and try to make your recordings sound good. In other words, DON'T mimic what the majors are doing.
Someone on one of those boards asked why you only cut the drums to 6 channels. I'd love to hear why and what track allocation would be.
Who cares? Get your drums to as few tracks as you're comfortable with. The less the better. The goal being one track for mono drums, and two tracks for stereo drums. And don't beat yourself up if you need more tracks than that. Bands and producers are rarely comfortable with only 2 tracks of drums. Hell, I'm rarely comfortable with 2 tracks of drums!
Why did you choose to write this piece, if it's at all real, which I doubt. I've talked with many people — musicians, A&R, etc. — that think it's in poor taste. We all know the bullshit side of the business, why exploit it or better still why not try to work with people and improve their performance and their product instead of bashing them and dissing them behind their backs? It's not productive at all.
Ah, yes. Just the kind of hard hitting reporting this magazine needs. I'm going have to break this question up in order to answer it effectively.
Why did you choose to write this piece?
I didn't choose it, it chose me.
...if it's at all real, which I doubt.
Then why did you go on with your question?
I've talked with many people — musicians, A&R, etc. — that think it's in poor taste.
Poor taste. Yes, well so are the reality shows "Who Wants To Marry a Millionaire," "Bachelor," and the upcoming "Beverly Hillbillies," where they will put up real 'hillbillies' in Beverly Hills for weeks on end (yeah, I won't miss that one either!). Welcome to the real world.
We all know the bullshit side of the business, why exploit it?
Perhaps you know the bullshit side of the business, but there are plenty of people that don't. The people that react negatively to the Diary tend to be the people that have lived the Diary. I guess it hits a little too close to home. The people that love the Diary, marvel at the burn rate, the politics, the backstabbing, the arguments, and the general lack of productiveness that is allowed to go on, and on, and on, endlessly, without the unceremonious pulling the plug. I'm not exploiting anything. I'm telling it how I see it, and this project happens to be the vehicle for such insights.
...or better still, why not try to work with people and improve their performance and their product instead of bashing them and dissing them behind their backs? It's not productive at all.
It's not productive? You seem to enjoy speaking for the entire class. Something tells me little Freddy, who graduated from Hicksburg High and has dabbled in a plethora of menial jobs including contributing to an already overweight population by proposing "SuperSizing," is preparing to drop his parents life- savings as a cash payment on a trade school for engineering, and he doesn't even get a degree out of the deal. Do you think HE knows the bullshit side of the business? And what of consistency? The first question of this interview asks me what mics I use on drums, yet you think that all of your readers, many of whom are my readers know the bullshit side of the business? Holy Paradox, Batman! As to working with people to help them improve their performances, that's another point of the Diary. The time to work on your performances is BEFORE you go into the studio. Can I have some questions from the first guy again?
I think the reason this saga has struck such a chord with people is partially because it exposes the mythic excess of the music business as fact. What's funny is, when you started writing this, you couldn't have imagined that it would go on so long. It's been fortuitous from a literary standpoint that this has been such a comedy of errors.
Oh goodie, I'm in friendly waters again. It's made for a terrible session, but for a great book. Well, I should say a possibly great book, that remains to be seen. I can't wait to see how it all ends!
What's worse? The band with their collective head up their ass or the Kafka- like bureaucracy that fuels them?
Oh, without a doubt, the bureaucracy that fuels them. The band can go on their merry way, but the bureaucracy remains beside us.
Boxers or briefs?
Alfresco.
What's your best recourse during a session when humor backfires on the humorless?
Write a Diary.
How much do you get paid per day for this kind of job/torture?
Not enough.
How do you balance the family life with wife and kids with the recording? Is it difficult to separate them all? Not necessarily for you specifically, but I noticed its hard to have a relationship when you're in such a time consuming and obsessive profession/ hobby like recording.
Maintaining balance in my life is the hardest part of this job. In order to achieve balance, I need to take time off. If one takes too much time off, it can kill one's career. When I'm working, I wish I wasn't working because I miss my family, when I'm not working, I'm worried I'll never work again. It's torture, but no one wrote a Diary letting me know how torturous it could be, not that that would have stopped me.
You and numerous cats who can intelligently answer dozens of emails daily blow my mind. Presumably there's an actual wife and/or a life somewhere in there, and you're probably doing some mixing as well. How do you find the time to maintain such an online persona?
Danger Will Robinson! Danger! Man! This interview is psychotic. Are you friends with the guy that doesn't "get" the value of poor taste? Well, I've tried waking my son up at midnight when his Daddy's wide awake from 12 hours of intense concentration, but for some odd reason he gets all shitty with me. Same with my wife. I've tried going to the Staples Center to catch the game at 1 AM, but the games never seem to go that long, and I usually have to explain to the cops why the hell I'm there. Guess what, when I'm working, I don't have a life. The way I figure it, I can watch TV or [I can] do something a bit more interesting and constructive. That's why the Diary started. I can't sleep for hours after I get home, and there's no one to talk to. So I write the Diary. When I'm not writing the Diary, I'm active in participating on my forum at Pro Sound Web.
So what are the perils of doing your job at this level? Obviously it's artistically frustrating, but like any craftsman you find little niches where you contribute to the whole simply by being good at your job. Is that a fair trade-off? Is it always the trade-off?
There is no trade-off, I find enjoyment in adapting to the situation at hand. The nice thing about recording sessions is they are usually temporary. Even when a session is desperately depressing, which is rare, I find ways to keep myself entertained and challenged. I try not to get frustrated, and find the good in anything that I'm doing. I realize sometimes the Diary seems opposite to this philosophy, but that's just venting for the sake of entertainment. Occasionally, I'll find myself working on a song that I can't stand, and then the challenge is to do something on my part that makes the song more bearable to me, whether that be as an engineer, a mixer or a producer. The trick is removing your mind from what tortures it, and redirecting your mind to what provides it enjoyment — A difficult trick at best. If I don't like the direction that a song or production is going in, as an engineer, then I have to make myself useful in the process by doing my most basic job — making sure I'm capturing the performances and getting them to tape. It's the Producer's vision, and unless I can provide a clear- cut, well thought out reason as to why I think something has gone awry, I keep my mouth shut, I wait, and I come up with my own personal solutions to the problem. That way, if the production comes to a stand-still or the Producer or Artists find themselves struggling, I'm able to provide solutions.
Another thing I have enjoyed about the articles is that, because of the anonymity, it focuses me on the human process rather than being preoccupied with the names of various microphones. Most people know music starts with good songs, but have we all become too enthralled by the mystery of equipment?
Yes, we've all become too enthralled by the mystery of equipment or the more fashionable word — "gear." Gear serves only to make ones' life easier or more difficult. That's it. For some people Alsihad* makes their life easier, that's why they use it. For me the sonic quality of a Radar makes my life easier as a recordist. The same can be said about microphones, pres, compressors, you name it. The litmus test is, does it make your life easier? If it does, use it. The "human process," as you put it, is everything. The equipment is irrelevant. If I describe to you what I'm doing in excruciating detail, but yet you can't listen to it, then it's all for naught. The reader is just taking my word for it. "I used a Fairchild 660 and a Pultec EQP1a on the guitar and it was the best guitar sound I ever got." Yeah! Says you! What's more helpful is describing how we tried 10 guitars in combination with 3 amps before we came upon the sound that was right for the productions and song, and then we had the Producer, who is an accomplished player, put down the parts for the numbskull guitar player that's only played for a year, yet wants to somehow sound as accomplished as Steve Vai. And as much as the plethora of guitars and amps scenario is somewhat unrealistic for the majority of our readers, as so many young bands are lucky to have one shitty re-issue amp and one crappy balsa wood guitar, it at least gets across the point that the source far outweighs the recording gear where the quality of the sound is concerned.
Do you think anyone else involved in the recording session is aware of the diary? For example, why were all your ingenious Jeremiah Weasel signs down the next day? Did you discuss this with Lance after Lance disclosed his knowledge?
Oh, I KNOW the label is aware of the Diary. In fact, I'm quite sure the label goes out of their way to make sure that I CAN write the diary. I don't really understand why, in case you haven't noticed, it's not very flattering. But hey, I guess there is no such thing as bad PR, right?
We already know what vodka you like. What records do you like? And what music are you inspired by?
Hmmmm. Do you think we'll be inspired by the same music? I'm inspired by great music. I'm inspired by great performances. I'm inspired by intelligent lyrics. I'm inspired by strong melodies. I'm inspired by a strong beat. I'm inspired by no beat at all. I'm inspired by music that causes the proper physical reaction — whether that be to dance, to cry, to laugh, to bop, to scream, to sing, to sulk, to celebrate, it doesn't matter to me, so long as I'm inspired. Most of all though, I'm inspired by music that manages to act as a marker of a time in my life.
If you were in charge of budgeting and producing Bitch Slap what would you do right now?
If I were made President of the Label right now, I'd likely dump them, they're damaged goods at this point. If I had been the President of the Label at the time they were signed, I would have let them be. If they had delivered me a record that I couldn't sell, it would have been cheaper than what's happening now.
Who is your favorite mastering engineer?
David Collins and Brad Blackwood. That's two.
Do you have a rule about how you do things, like, for every Bitch Slap session, do you work on 3 sessions you'd rather be involved in?
Ah yes, "The Cleansing." Anytime I find that I've done a Major Label project that is somehow less than redeeming for me, I try to find a project that totally inspires me, regardless of the budget. I term that project as The Cleansing. I'll likely do three cleansings after this project is completed.
It seems highly unlikely this band is going anywhere, so what will you gain, career-wise, besides a paycheck?
I agree with you, the odds are a million to one against this band making it. That's what Dumber was told in the movie Dumb and Dumber, and his response was: "So you're saying there's still a chance!" That seems to work for me here. I've worked on many records that were supposed slam dunks that did nothing. I've mixed countless "hits" that never saw the light of day. I've recorded "stars" that no one's ever heard of. Ultimately, all sessions are just paychecks until they HAPPEN to become something more. I don't even think about whether a band is going to be heard. I try and make their album as musically inspiring as possible through mixing, recording, whatever my job at the time happens to be. That's what I enjoy doing. I can't predict the future, or what walls a project will hit once I've done my job. So I don't try. I offer my services, and I treat every record like it's the last one I'll ever do.
So, I imagine this started as a kind of therapy. Is it now a train you can't stop?
Are you kidding me? I'm pulling the train with my teeth up a 45 degree angle! At first it was no problem. I was full of energy and cruising through my entries. By the end of the first eight weeks I could barely write the day's entry. The pressure to put out a daily journal for the tens of thousands of people was phenomenal. You can't see the numbers on the forum because we moved the Diary to another part of the site, but we were getting 20,000 readers a day by week eight of the Diary. We know that over 100,000 unique IP addresses visited the Diary page alone. Here I am, trying to portray the day's events in a humorous way, late at night after a 7 week stint of working basically 10-11 hours, driving for 1.5 hours, writing for 3 hours and getting up and spending the mornings with my son for an hour post 4 hours sleep. I was absolutely exhausted, both physically and emotionally. To keep the product up to a quality that I was satisfied with on a daily basis was nothing short of enormously challenging. But I had to keep it going. Too many people were dependant on it, and that kept me going, barely. I'm glad I did too. And I'm going to continue to write the Diary throughout this session, albeit, perhaps not at quite the same pace. I think I'd be dead if I tried that again.
Do you think your diary will hinder your career in L.A. or make you a modern folk hero?
Only time will tell.
And the ratio of frustration to chocolate muffins is?
In terms of a Distressor? Nuke.
Alsihad is Pro Tools. It is a slang that's developed on the recording websites and groups, and stems from "I didn't have a tape deck so I used alls I had (Pro Tools)." Get it? Pretty silly...
