BLOG | JUN. 11, 2025

The solution, clearly, is more dissonance


It's not Idol, technically, but America's Got Talent and its dentally-impaired overseas cousin are still franchises helmed by Simon Cowell, who I think we can all agree has become somewhat of a figurehead for shitty pop music and general asshattery. You'll be rewarded here, sort of, with a perfectly passable aw-shucks-diva cover of the Stones' "Wild Horses" if you stick around long enough, but first you'll have to watch in absolute horror as the big stateside premiere of charmingly fish-outta-water blog-n-Twitter sensation Susan Boyle from the September 16 episode of the American programme majestically botches literally every harmonic transition in the requisite sappy introductory montage. That is, at no point does the background music align in any sensible way with the sample fragments of Boyle's singing, nor, during cuts and transitions, with whatever musical material follows. Granted, we're probably talking about idiot television producers here (or their interns, even) and not idiot music producers, but still, sign of the times grumble grumble.

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